In the absence of self-composure and godliness, it is easier for dominance
and cruelty to become the driving force in the home. During the cycle of violence, verbal abuse most often precedes physical
violence. When arguments reach a dangerous level, physical violence is sure to follow. The aim of violence and abuse is to
crush the spirit of the target. If the verbal abuse alone doesn’t accomplish the goals of the abuser, they often resort
to physical violence to further their cause – destroy “by any means necessary.”
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Cruel and angry words are by design. They are meant to wound and destroy
the recipient's self-esteem. One who is verbally abusive is being unkind on purpose – I will repeat this fact often.
Verbal abuse is intentional, and destructive.
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It can be used as payback, control, or just plain meanness. The receiver
is harmed emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Often times, people who are verbally abused suffer from depression. Verbal
abuse can lead to headaches, anxiety, insomnia, and a host of other physical illnesses.
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Aside from God, no one knows you more intimately than the person that you
are in a relationship with. You will share things that you would never tell your own parents, not even your closest friends.
When we share personal stories about our lives, we are attempting to cleanse and heal ourselves in some way. It has been said
that, “Confession is good for the soul.” But confession in the wrong ears can lead to betrayal and malice. During
arguments – when you least expect it – your disclosures are hurled at you with poisonous venom, and all the forces
of hell.
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By the way, did you know that “Death and life are in the power of
the tongue?” That's right; the tongue is powerful enough to bring life or death to our souls. Proverbs 15:4 states:
“A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion in it crushes the spirit.” Many parents have crushed the
spirits of their children by criticizing the things they do, or don't do; by their appearance or anything they feel displeased
with.
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Instead of meeting children where they are, some parents pressure their
children to perform, and belittle them if they don't measure up. Unfortunately, these are the same children that often grow
up and become abusers themselves. They live what they learn, and take their frustrations out on others.
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